Nothing is sacred these days. We live in an age where, to the majority of people, most everything is worthless. Sex is an act that gets participated in because we're horny. Love? That's an illusion. Or at least, so I've been told. Marriages? Be honest now, how many of those do you know that've worked out? Offhand, I can think of four.

To be honest, I'm personally all for them changing the wording of the oath two people take when they enter into marriage to "...till death do us part, or we tire of each other, and modern legislation permits us to tell each other to get fucked.", rather. At least it'll be closer to the truth. I mean, we don't want some people to get up false hope, after all, right?

There are two reasons for this rant, one of which I won't get into.... The other, well, it's hardly the reason I'm in the mood I'm in. Ordinarily, I'd resign myself to this. But anyhow.

To get the ball rolling, a good friend phoned me this afternoon, to relate to me the story of his short weekend holiday to the Northern province. He had a couple of tales to tell me, which he thought I'd appreciate thoroughly. The first, being one of a female who had gone along on holiday with him.

From what my mate told me, she'd recently broken up with her boyfriend, and was looking to engage in a good make-out session or two. The reason he knows this, is because she was flirting with him while he was in the process of writing his novel. However, he pulled what has been duly dubbed a "Karlos". It took him longer than the space of a day to figure out he was being flirted with. Which is understandable, except for the one statement she made in his company. "I could really do with a foot massage." she said to him, in a really innocent tone, I'm sure.

And being the person I am, and possessing the faith in humanity which I do, I would put 20:1 odds on the fact that she was indeed looking for a long, meaningful relationship. Any sucke... er, I mean, betting men that want to take me that bet? Come on, I'm sure that naive innocent waif wasn't interested in getting violated like a parking meter. Right? Right?!


The second story, well, I think I can sum it up reasonably succinctly. What happens when you mix enough men and women? Right! Karlos's Universal Law no. 1: men + women = fucking

Do the maths. Not only is it a balanced equation, but it's also an inalienable truth of life! So anyway, what essentially happened, is two people hooked up on that holiday. Which is nothing special. They were horny, so they shagged. Nothing unusual in this day and age.

What might surprise you, however, simply proves one of my theories on life. The guy, in fucking the girl, was cheating on his girlfriend. Nothing out of the ordinary I suppose. He'd only been seeing her for a paltry six years. As for the girl, well, she ended up cheating on her boyfriend of five years.

And if you ask me, it almost seems like par for the course, really. It's to be expected, right? I mean, two people meet for the first time, their meaningless relationships go straight to hell, and they proceed to fuck like bunnies. After all, what's a measly five years? Why bother with a cumbersome relationship, when you can fuck someone you haven't fucked before? What's five years when matched up against the possibility of fucking someone new?


Nope, nothing is sacred anymore.