- Wednesday 10 March - Edit: I was wrong. This seemingly isn't going to be the last post.

This is to be my last Vicky post. The final Vicky post. Ever. I have closure. Slightly depressing closure, but closure nonetheless.

Since she chose to ignore my very final bout of self-disclosure two weeks back, I decided to sever all contact on my side. Quite frankly, I just can't be bothered. And as such, I was a little loathe to see her at Varsity, since I, in all honesty, felt a bit hurt.

Today, however, I saw her sitting having coffee with Andréa and one of their other friends. I don't know what possessed me to go and talk to them, but I sure as hell wasn't going to be seen to not be the one with the balls. I have muchos grandé cojones, amigos.

So, what happened, is I walked in there, said hello, and was offered a seat, which I accepted. I basically just engaged them in chat. And the shit that came out of their mouthes, my fuck. I'd think I was their gay friend, the shit that came out. Stories of sexual encounters, stories of sexual fantasies, stories of how if Vicky had three weeks to live, she'd spend the whole time going around pulling into really hot guys. Now, I've been contemplating maybe doing this myself, simply because I can. Snog a chick, maybe fool around a bit, send her on her way, and chalk it up to alcohol. But I won't do this to myself.

I'm not that kind of person. There's a little hopeless romantic in me, and he's telling me that I'm meeting the kind of women right now that I could fall for, at University. I honestly get that opinion. And they're genuine. They're not concealing themselves behind a hatred of men and an apparent over-interest in physicality, thereby portraying themselves as shallow. These women seem somewhat scared of men, simply because they seem like they're worried that their hearts are going to get stood on by some random arb players that want to just fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

So, on the Vicky topic, for the final time. I'm over her. She's become the kind of woman I'd politely tell to fuck off, if she showed interest in me, and this saddens me a little. This isn't the person she once was. Not at all. She never used to be the kind of person to discuss sexual fantasies with male friends. She used to frown upon any idea of premarital sex. So, while I'm saddened by what she's become, she's intelligent enough to introspectively control the way she turns out. She has nothing to blame but herself.

At the end of the day, I have closure. I also still believe that women exist out there that have the same view towards relationships as I do. We'll see how much luck I have tracking them down.